Sometimes I am awed by the responsibility I carry. How did I get here? Five lives are in my care. Five future parents, spouses, citizens, statesmen--they are all in training now. They look to me for leadership and direction, many times without a husband visibly at my side. The amazing thing is that they very closely follow me--for the good and sometimes not so good. I wish they would only follow after the good traits. I still can't get Katelyn to stop chewing her nails. (Hmm, I wonder why..) Amanda is still cuddling her baby dolls and Josh is reminding us to clean up our toys or else we'll find some other kids who can take care of them. When they are rude to each other I wonder if they learned it from me when I was frustrated. I think they love music because I love music and they've heard me plunking out some tunes on the piano. Luckily they've also heard their dad. So much of what they do is because they first saw me doing it. Even Zach is learning how to sweep the floor with our little people broom. He's 14 months old! I recently found this quote which is now hanging on my bulletin board:"We are often overbearing and rude; and then we expect them to be submissive and well behaved, knowing all the time how strong is their instinct of imitation and how touching their faith in and admiration of us. They will imitate us in any case. Let us treat them, therefore, with all the kindness, which we would wish to develop in them. Kindness consists in interpreting the wishes of others, in conforming one's self to them, and sacrificing, if need be, one's own desire."
---Maria Montessori
I am trying to practice the "art of responding" rather than dictating what I think they should do. It involves coaching, mentoring, and gentle guiding with an abundance of praise. I take my lead from them. It has made our lives so much better. However, I do have a vision of what I see for them, so I try to also be the change I wish to see in them. I really started noticing this "lead, not push" or "inspire, not require" phenomenon this year by accident. For example, I decided at the New Year that I would dust off the old treadmill and aerobics' step. Immediately I had an aerobics class, including baby Zach who loves to stand on the step and dance. On the treadmill they run a mile a day, or at least they did until I missed some sleep and got behind in my exercise plan. Now they are sedentary again, like me. It doesn't just apply to exercise. It goes for academics as well. I began writing in my journal more often and started this blog. I told the kids it was so that I could be "published." They immediately had an interest in writing in their journals and learning how to write, spell, edit and type. Now, I am pleased to announce that Brandon has begun his own blog titled The High Notes (if you have heard him sing and play his violin, it's obvious why). If anyone is interested in the address, he'll be glad to pass it on to you. He is so excited to be published now as well.
Considering that my children so closely and immediately follow what I do, I decided to propose a plan today that seemed to be good for us all. It was accepted unanimously. I announce it publicly now so that you can ask us about it and hold us to it. We are going to train for a mini-triathlon (for families) to be held in June. Brandon, Katelyn, Brian, and I are already pretty fair swimmers (thanks to the last year of weekly swimming lessons for Brandon and Katelyn), so we decided to train in the other areas as well. It is to be a family goal, one that hopefully promotes teamwork, goal setting, and healthy lifestyles. Josh is thrilled to ride his bike along side us running, and Amanda and Zach will sit in the stroller.
I just look at my kids and want them to be more than I am, so I have to be more myself. It's good for us all.
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